Growing Up With Baby

In this series, we will follow Linda while she deals with the problems of motherhood she encounters.

6 weeks old

Okay, we are off to Target, and our outing went something like this:

All is well on the way there. She's asleep and I'm behind the wheel soaking up my newly found freedom. As soon as we walk through the doors she's instantly awake. 10 minutes later she's crying. So I take her out of the car seat and do my best soothing. It becomes clear that she wants to eat again even though she had a full meal before we left. So I leave Wellsley with the cart and scamper off across the vast expanse that is Super Target in search of somewhere to nurse her. That place is a bathroom, a really dirty bathroom. I resign myself to my fate and get "comfortable" on the toilet. 15 minutes later she is satisfied and relaxed... Too relaxed. Before I can snap my mom bra back together, she releases another volcanic eruption of a BM. It's bad. The changing table is gross, the strap to keep her from falling to certain death is broken... And the sink and the garbage can are way more than an arms reach away. I still think I have the situation under control. Oh, yeah I'm prepared. I have paper towels and a change of clothes. I get to work on the matter at hand, and as soon as I unsnap her jumper, the full magnitude of the catastrophe becomes clear. She is coated in feces. I have under estimated my supply of paper towels and the out fit that fit her last week, fit her last week for the last time. By now there's a dirty diaper and a mountain of shitty paper towels on the floor (as i said the trash can was way out of reach).

A line of other moms and dads waiting to use this lovely facility with their kids, and my poor screaming baby that I just tried to dress in an outfit that was to small... Then, because the store was freezing and because I was no longer thinking clearly, back into a poopy outfit that i cleaned up the best that I could. I had alerted Wellsley of the situation somewhere towards the end of the fiasco, telling him to get in line and buy the one item on my list I had managed to get before, my little angel lost her mind. So I came out of the bathroom with my shameful looking infant,and got in line with him. The one item was a nursing bra...and I added a chocolate bar.

Just so you know...

6 weeks and 3 days

A little over a week ago came a new development. Smiles. Not all the time but at least once a day.

She makes eye contact with me, her eyes widen and seem to look deep into mine. I smile, one corner of her mouth curls upward, I smile bigger, then her eyes smile, I'm sure mine are doing the same, And finally that curled corner cracks open into a wide, toothless, grin that's just for me. Of course I cry a little every time I share a moment like that with her.

Yeah, I cry every day.

About Linda Vivant

When a young woman has a baby, she leaves a world of few responsibilities and enters a brand new one. Motherhood brings with it a quick trip to reality and with it, the loss of innocence. more>>